Creativity

Being creative is really hard. My husband is great at it. He is a video editor and when he works on a video creativity just seems to pour out of him. He is very talented.

For me, on the other hand, being creative can be very difficult. Writing in this blog is just one example. I'm a singer and would love to be able to write some of my own songs, but inspirations for those only come in short spurts. Sometimes I think that my brain just gets in the way. I like looking at things very logically, and not in the practical way, but in the almost bordering on OCD way. I mean I'm great at puzzles and problem solving, but when I start seeing poetry or lyrics or melody lines as problems that need to be solved creativity evades me and the product of the logic isn't nearly as good as I know it could be. (It also doesn't help that I care too much about what people think about me so if something I do isn't perfect I get disappointed in myself.)

Now, in spite of all this I've noticed that a lot of times practice can make perfect, if not at being creative then at least what you're trying to accomplish with the creativity. Part of my hope in writing in this blog is that my creative juices will be flowing more then they have been in the past and that will help me when I work on writing songs.

What I've also noticed is that faith can be like creativity in that it seems hard at first and my brain gets in the way when I think about what God is doing in my life. I mean it doesn't make sense that He would bless me when I do so many horrible things and I can seem like a mess a lot of times. Logically, every time I do something wrong I should be punished. But even though I do have to face some consequences for my actions, God always doesn't let me fall as far as I should for my sins. AND He still gives me awesome blessings even though logically I do deserve them. And faith comes when I can get past the logic of all of that and understand that God is beyond logic and understanding.

Often times creativity comes in my greater moments of faith.

So I will keep writing even when I don't feel creative and I will keep trusting in and praying to God even when I don't feel close to Him or my faith seems nonexistent.

(By the way I said the word creative (or some variation on it) 11 times in this entry.) =)