Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Bad Day

Do you ever have those days where you feel like nothing you do is right? Not only do you just feel down for no reason, but you feel like you've hurt the feelings of everyone close to you because of your own insecurities. You wish you could just stop being insecure because you know it's afecting the people around you, but that just makes you more insecure, because you want those people to think your perfect even though they will love you for who you are in spite of all your faults. It's almost like you want to earn their love even though you know you don't have to, but still you do know that because you love them you want to be good for them and eventually that carries over into wanting to earn their love through the works that you do.

Just typing this all out right now makes me realize a few things about our relationship with God. First of all, we can never be perfect. That's why Jesus died. Second, we can't fool God into looking past our insecurities and our mistakes because of good things we do. Third, we don't have to do good things to make God love us or even like us. As Christians we know that we are only saved through Jesus' sacrifice on earth and the grace that God has to have sent Him. (It's weird using tenses when you're talking about God who is and was and is to come and what Jesus did a long time ago.) There are still people who think that being good will get them into Heaven and we as Christians think, "Oh, that's silly! All you have to do is believe in Jesus." Still often times we don't believe what we ourselves are saying! We still think that even though Jesus died for us, we still need to be perfect to get to Heaven. Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't be good. If we love God we will strive to be more like Jesus and good works should automatically flow out of us. But they should always be because of a love for God. Sometimes we even do good works because it's what we have to do because "the Bible says so." Yes that's true, but doesn't God say He cares more about what's in the heart? If we're doing good works just because we believe a certain thing and not out of love then our good work isn't a "good" work anymore. It's just a work.

There's one more lesson I got out of my first paragraph, which is one that I learn continuously, but always seem to forget. God provides security and anything that is not based on Him is very unsteady. My marriage is secure because Joe and I based it on God. My family is secure because those relationships are based on God. Things that I don't base on God, job interviews, financial decisions, etc., always leave me feeling insecure and unsatisfied. If I don't give my day to God in the morning, I usually turn it into a disaster by lunch time. God is the root of all security.

So just to recap. God is the basis for all secure things and He loves us without us having to earn His love. These are very good things to know.

PS It's Halloween and I have huge fake nails on because I'm a kitty cat, so if there are any mistakes in today's entry I'm blAMing it on the nails
! Oops. =)

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