The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Ok, I know that whenever anyone hears this statement they either think of the glorious Christmas song and the season that goes with it, or the irony that accompanies that song because this time of year really is the craziest time of year and sometimes can be thought of as far from wonderful. For me it can be both. Christmas can be very stressful because first of all there is a lot of stuff to get done in a very short amount of time. (I've come to discover that the only reason it is a short amount of time is because I don't get any of the Christmas stuff done earlier in the year.) And when you go to the store to do your shopping it seems that people don't understand that you have urgent shopping to do and just won't get out of your way. Second, there is always the stress of money; not just how much you're spending, but how much do you spend on each person. If you spend too little your friends and loved ones could think you're blowing them off (fortunately Joe and I don't really have to worry about this because we have amazing friends and family). If you spend too much money the same people could feel bad because their presents aren't as cool as yours (again, no worries cause we have awesome friends and families). Third, after you buy all of the presents that your budget and closet will allow, you have to remember who you bought everything for and wrap it in addition to labeling it correctly. Finally, when all of this is done the presents must be shipped off to their respective homes, to be placed carefully under a Christmas tree only to be torn to shreds days later.

I know, I know, when you look at Christmas only like this it seems like the worst time of year in the world. But hear me out, Christmas is, if not my favorite, at least one of my favorite times of year. All of the struggle for the presents for other people is totally worth it. Even though stores are crazy and there are people everywhere, I've discovered that people really are in a much better, more forgiving mood than the whole rest of the year. Even when Joe and I lived in New York City people were actually friendly and polite. (Two side notes about New York- 1.New Yorkers are actually nice people it's just their lives are too chaotic from living in an environment that is overstimulating that they just can't really focus or show emotion to strangers, and 2. Christmas time is the best time in NYC! see photo above) Also, the shopping that you're doing is more satisfying at this time of year because it's for other people and not yourself. You are forced to think about what others want and it really pays off because if you think hard enough you can get some pretty sweet gifts that people will love and appreciate because they knew you were thinking about them. The craziness of the season is only for a short amount of time and it really pays off in the end because you're with the ones you love. Also, I love Christmas songs and they're all over the radio at this time of year.

Joe and I had a lot of fun shopping this year. We probably bought more presents than we should have this year, but we got really excited about our first Christmas as a married couple and about giving presents to the people we love! I think we got some really great presents for people this year and I can't wait to see everyone's look on their face when they open them.

The last thing I want to say is praise God for the ultimate gift of salvation through His only Son, Jesus, who's birth we celebrate with this holiday! Merry Christmas everyone!

God is Awesome!

I believe that every day is a gift from God, but I really think that the past two days have been like the blessing jackpot from God. The first reason why is because I got to lead worship for kids in kindergarten and first grade at one of the kids' programs at Buckhead called UpStreet. It was not only really fun and exciting to use my talents for God, but the kids got really into the music and also had a great time and I really enjoyed the people I was serving with! Joe and I are starting to make more friends in Atlanta which I am so excited about and think is so important. That also leads me to my next reason why I'm thankful to God for not only the past two days, but also the past couple of weeks.

Joe and I got to hang out with our friends Malorie and Tim Elrod last night and had a blast. this Tuesday we get to hang out with our friends Michelle and Josh (who are getting married at the end of May) and then Michelle gets to spend the night so that her and I can have some girly time! I also mentioned that I was getting a lot of babysitting gigs. This has not only been amazing because it's been getting me out of the house and giving me something to do, but also because I've been getting to know more people and hopefully making some friends. UpStreet has played a huge part in helping me meet people who in turn have introduced me to more people. The reason I have a job with the family that has the one year old daughter is because of a friend that I met at Buckhead who called them and recommended me for the job. This same friend leads me into my third reason of why God has totally blessed Joe and me in Atlanta.

My friend also gave my name to someone at Buckhead church recommending me for a part-time job there. I don't want to name any names yet (except for the name of the friend who recommended me because she's in real estate, so if you're ever looking to buy a house my friend Cathleen has some great houses that are up on the market) or what I might be doing because I haven't had my interview yet and I don't want to get too excited in case for some reason it doesn't happen. But I am so excited to possibly have the opportunity to serve God by working for a church! And what's great is I still get to use my voice to praise God by volunteering at UpStreet. There's never any guarantee about jobs, but it's so exciting to see God open up opportunities for both me and my husband (that will be a whole new post about how God's been blessing Joe with opportunities).

There is never a more exciting place to be than in God's hands, trusting Him with every step you make in life and praising Him for every blessing along the way!

Nanny Diaries

I have an amazing husband. He rented the Nanny Diaries for me and watched it with me last night even though it is considered "a girl movie." It was such a cute movie and came at such an ironic time. Now, I cannot relate to the character through most of the movie because I've really only worked for pretty amazing people when I babysit kids, but the first 20 minutes of the movie was a complete depiction of what my life is right now. Scarlett Johansson plays the nanny and at the beginning of the movie she graduates from college, tries to figure out what she really wants to do with her life, and ends up literally running into a woman who needs a new nanny for her son. All of the sudden, every mom in the park is all over Scarlett giving her their cards and offering her jobs to watch her kids. None of them even care if she's worked with kids or has any references.

That whole scene has totally been my life the past two weeks. All of the sudden every mom I meet is hiring me to babysit their kids or recommending me to others to babysit their children or giving me office work to do. I kind of explained it all in my last entry, so I won't go over it again. I do want to mention again, though, that any part of the movie after the scene I described has nothing to do with my babysitting experiences because all the moms I've babysat for have been very good moms who care very much about their children.

Working

After about 8 weeks in Atlanta, I finally feel like I'm starting to get to know people here. The weird thing is, though, that all of these people that I'm getting to know are mommies and they want me to babysit their kids. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing at all, by any means. I enjoy babysitting and I think I'm pretty good at it too. I just find it such a contrast from New York, where their are very few families with children that need to be babysat. (I just happened to belong to a babysitting agency in New York and although they got business, it was nothing like here.) Here it seems that finding a young woman who is available and willing to watch children is like finding a gold mine, oh and if you can do odd jobs it's a total plus!

One family has me working in their home office and also has my number on the sitters list in case they need an emergency substitution to look after their one-year-old daughter. She told me that one of her friends has been meaning to call me because she also needs a babysitter. I'm also in the middle of helping one woman put together her Christmas cards, I babysat her kids tonight, and I get to babysit them again tomorrow. This woman has two adorable little boys who are just big balls of energy. They are very different from babysitting little girls. (I will refer you to a post that my husband has on his blog from June 13th of this year, Lessons from a 4-year-old.) I'm looking forward to babysitting these boys again because I don't think I was a very fun babysitter tonight. (It was a last minute thing and it was only supposed to be for a very short amount of time.) Boys can run around and enjoy being outdoors and like showing off to impress you no matter who you are. They like playing games, but they can also just be entertained with a cardboard box by turning it into a fort or house or something like that.

So these jobs are really fun and a great way to stay involved with people at the church, make a little extra money, and just stay active in general. I do, however, still have a desire to sing and I wonder sometimes what I'm supposed to do with that. Do I keep working these odd jobs with these really amazing families that I keep meeting, or do I keep waiting to see if God wants to do something else with me. My opinion is that I'm not disciplined enough to wait right now and stay focused on making my voice better or writing music or something like that. Maybe if I keep working on these jobs I'll get jump-started into having a passion to do my own thing and develop my music and use my passion for music to serve God.

Ok, I'm rambling at this point. I didn't talk a lot today or watch my 5 hour dose of the Disney channel so I think that's where this is coming from. Hmmm, maybe I just need to stop stimulating my sense so that my brain can actually have time to think on it's own. Maybe work is what I need right now.

This Past Month

So since the Trans-Siberian concert there have been a few exciting things that have happened in the past month.

1. Joe's birthday- I got him a few presents and made him lunch (homemade fried chicken with pole beans for a side dish). It was very quiet compared to last year (I threw him a surprise party), but he said that he had a good birthday! =)

2. Thanksgiving- Joe and I went to my Grandparents for Thanksgiving dinner. I got to see some of my relatives that I haven't seen in almost a decade! We also enjoyed some Christmas lights at the Bristol Racetrack and a nap by a crackling fire in the fireplace.

3. Christmastime- The Christmas season is here! Joe and I now have a Christmas tree up


and a small creche scene on our dining area table that my Geega (my name for my grandmother) gave to us.
I know everyone says this, but I think Christmas is my favorite time of year! Everyone really is nicer and when Joe and I used to live in New York the city would be alive with what I can only gather as the Christmas spirit.

4. Work- Right now both Joe and I are waiting to see what God does with us here in Georgia and so far it's been pretty exciting to see where He's moving us. Joe just got freelance work at a Northpoint Strategic Partner called Southside Church and right now he's also working on some short videos that are very funny for Catalyst Church, another Northpoint Strategic Partner. I got to be there when he was shooting some of the footage for the videos and they are going to be hilarious.

I have the privilege of singing at Buckhead Church's UpStreet which is part of its kids' program. I've sung there twice already and I will be singing there the next two Sundays. It's fun singing with kids because if the song is right they will be dancing and jumping all over the place. Kids really have a way of praising God and not let anything inhibit that praise to Him. It can get a grown-up really excited about worship! Oh, and also about singing this next week, we're singing rockin' Christmas Carols, so I'm super psyched!

Classical Music Anyone?

Joe just took me to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tonight and I have one word...





WOW!!!

Bad Day

Do you ever have those days where you feel like nothing you do is right? Not only do you just feel down for no reason, but you feel like you've hurt the feelings of everyone close to you because of your own insecurities. You wish you could just stop being insecure because you know it's afecting the people around you, but that just makes you more insecure, because you want those people to think your perfect even though they will love you for who you are in spite of all your faults. It's almost like you want to earn their love even though you know you don't have to, but still you do know that because you love them you want to be good for them and eventually that carries over into wanting to earn their love through the works that you do.

Just typing this all out right now makes me realize a few things about our relationship with God. First of all, we can never be perfect. That's why Jesus died. Second, we can't fool God into looking past our insecurities and our mistakes because of good things we do. Third, we don't have to do good things to make God love us or even like us. As Christians we know that we are only saved through Jesus' sacrifice on earth and the grace that God has to have sent Him. (It's weird using tenses when you're talking about God who is and was and is to come and what Jesus did a long time ago.) There are still people who think that being good will get them into Heaven and we as Christians think, "Oh, that's silly! All you have to do is believe in Jesus." Still often times we don't believe what we ourselves are saying! We still think that even though Jesus died for us, we still need to be perfect to get to Heaven. Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't be good. If we love God we will strive to be more like Jesus and good works should automatically flow out of us. But they should always be because of a love for God. Sometimes we even do good works because it's what we have to do because "the Bible says so." Yes that's true, but doesn't God say He cares more about what's in the heart? If we're doing good works just because we believe a certain thing and not out of love then our good work isn't a "good" work anymore. It's just a work.

There's one more lesson I got out of my first paragraph, which is one that I learn continuously, but always seem to forget. God provides security and anything that is not based on Him is very unsteady. My marriage is secure because Joe and I based it on God. My family is secure because those relationships are based on God. Things that I don't base on God, job interviews, financial decisions, etc., always leave me feeling insecure and unsatisfied. If I don't give my day to God in the morning, I usually turn it into a disaster by lunch time. God is the root of all security.

So just to recap. God is the basis for all secure things and He loves us without us having to earn His love. These are very good things to know.

PS It's Halloween and I have huge fake nails on because I'm a kitty cat, so if there are any mistakes in today's entry I'm blAMing it on the nails
! Oops. =)

Creativity

Being creative is really hard. My husband is great at it. He is a video editor and when he works on a video creativity just seems to pour out of him. He is very talented.

For me, on the other hand, being creative can be very difficult. Writing in this blog is just one example. I'm a singer and would love to be able to write some of my own songs, but inspirations for those only come in short spurts. Sometimes I think that my brain just gets in the way. I like looking at things very logically, and not in the practical way, but in the almost bordering on OCD way. I mean I'm great at puzzles and problem solving, but when I start seeing poetry or lyrics or melody lines as problems that need to be solved creativity evades me and the product of the logic isn't nearly as good as I know it could be. (It also doesn't help that I care too much about what people think about me so if something I do isn't perfect I get disappointed in myself.)

Now, in spite of all this I've noticed that a lot of times practice can make perfect, if not at being creative then at least what you're trying to accomplish with the creativity. Part of my hope in writing in this blog is that my creative juices will be flowing more then they have been in the past and that will help me when I work on writing songs.

What I've also noticed is that faith can be like creativity in that it seems hard at first and my brain gets in the way when I think about what God is doing in my life. I mean it doesn't make sense that He would bless me when I do so many horrible things and I can seem like a mess a lot of times. Logically, every time I do something wrong I should be punished. But even though I do have to face some consequences for my actions, God always doesn't let me fall as far as I should for my sins. AND He still gives me awesome blessings even though logically I do deserve them. And faith comes when I can get past the logic of all of that and understand that God is beyond logic and understanding.

Often times creativity comes in my greater moments of faith.

So I will keep writing even when I don't feel creative and I will keep trusting in and praying to God even when I don't feel close to Him or my faith seems nonexistent.

(By the way I said the word creative (or some variation on it) 11 times in this entry.) =)

Rain

For me, I often times feel the closest to God when I'm staring out into the rain falling on the trees and ground. There's something so peaceful about the falling drops coming down and watering the earth. I'm reminded of the verse, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:45b NASB) God is always raining down (no pun intended) blessings on this earth to everyone, Christian and non-Christian. It reminds me that every good thing comes from God, whether or not you believe in Him.

Rain is also a comfort for me and makes me think of family and togetherness. When I was younger I lived in Florida and when the rainy season came around my family and I used to sit on our balcony and watch the rain pound onto the sidewalk below us. When I got older, I was on a missions trip in New Zealand and much of my quiet time with God was spent staring out onto an open field watching the rain pour down. I was miles away from my earthly family, but I was still spending time with my Heavenly Father. Now I have my husband to enjoy rainy days with.

This whole entry has been very ironic because right now my husband and I are living right in the middle of the Georgia drought and the whole state needs rain so badly. This is one of the few days that we've had in which there are little droplets of mist falling from the sky. I guess we'll take what we can get.

Excited?

Have you ever bought a brand new toy or piece of equipment and gotten really excited about it for about a week and then just abandoned it in your closet only to pull it out on special occasions for your friends because it's still cool you just lost excitement for it? I'm afraid that this whole scenario might happen with this blog. Right now I'm so excited about this blog because it is so brand new to me to have a place where I can publicly post my thoughts and opinions, but in a week I might forget all about it until a month later I'll remember about it or get the urge to write and need to spill something completely arbitrary onto this website that only I'll get so I'll end up being the only person who reads this blog. See I'm so excited about this whole thing it's all I can write about so far. Let's change that right now.

I'll start the change with something simple. Something not too deep, but not shallow enough to be boring. My favorite Bible verse is Luke 12:32. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." (NASB)


As a girl I like the idea of God thinking of all of his children as little sheep because it's cute and I like that even though we get stressed out and we sin and we think bad stuff happens to us all the time and we feel like God is always testing us, God actually wants us to have everything in His kingdom (aka Heaven). It's sometimes easy to think (at least for me) that God's mad a lot of times because we mess up so much, so we have to tip-toe around making sure not to do anything bad, but the way salvation actually works is not only that Jesus died for our sins so we don't have to go to hell, but God wants us to have everything. By everything I'm not talking about silly material things on this earth, but He wants to give us Heaven, and eternal life, and beauty beyond anything we can imagine. I think that will be pretty awesome.

Brand New

I've never had a blog before. My husband has one and his is very good. I guess that's what struck up my interest in creating this blog. Part of the reason I've never had a blog is I don't consider myself a writer and I figured if I'm not a writer then I shouldn't post things online that other people can read to save myself embarrassment. I'm even embarrassed about that last sentence. I think it's too long. Also, if there actually is anyone reading this blog, you'll will eventually find out that I am a horrible speller, my grammar is atrocious, and a lot of my writing might even be... boring (if it is please do not comment on my blog that it is, for the sake of my pride; besides it took a lot of my guts just to finally make one of these and you wouldn't want to be the person that hurt my feelings and make me never want to write again, would you?).

Now that I've confessed that I don't consider myself a writer I will also confess that I love to write. I've had journals and diaries since I was young and when I got to college I started spending all of my devotional time journaling my prayers to God. What convinced me to finally start a public journal (aka my blog) was when I was spending some quiet time with God on my balcony reading through some old notes of mine that I had taken at a music and worship leaders' conference. I started having some thoughts on some of my notes (which were of course recorded in a journal) and wished that I had someway I could write down my thoughts and ideas without adding to the pile of journals I already have next to my bedside. My husbands blog came to mind and I thought it would be a good way of expressing my thoughts about my notes and if someone so happened to stumble upon my blog online and decided to comment on something, all the better.

I've never been good at ending things that I write, especially essays for school. I know the conclusion should be the easiest part of the whole essay because you're just bringing together everything that you've already said, but I'm just not good at it. It's easier in my prayer journals because all I have to say is Amen and it's done. But how do you end a blog? See I'm still writing because I can't end this one. Well I'm ending it now. This will be the last word. Really.